Sex and contraception after birth

There are no rules about when to start having sex again after you have given birth.

You'll probably feel sore as well as tired after your baby is born, so don't rush into it.

If sex hurts, it won't be pleasurable. You may want to use a personal lubricant, available from pharmacies, to begin with.

Hormonal changes after birth can make your vagina feel drier than usual.

You may be worried about changes to your body or getting pregnant again. Men may worry about hurting their partner.

It might be some time before you want to have sex. Until then, both of you can carry on being loving and close in other ways.

If you or your partner have any worries, talk about them together. You can talk with your health visitor or GP if you need some more help.

Tips for starting sex again after birth

• If penetration hurts, say so. If you pretend that everything's all right when it isn't, you may start to see sex as a nuisance or unpleasant, rather than a pleasure. You can still give each other pleasure without penetration – for example, by mutual masturbation.
• Take it gently. Perhaps explore with your own fingers first to reassure yourself that sex won't hurt. Hormonal changes after childbirth may mean you may need to use lubricant to help make sex more comfortable.
• Make time to relax together. You're more likely to make love when your minds are on each other rather than other things.
• Get help if you need it. If you're still experiencing pain when you have your postnatal check, talk to your GP.

Contraception after having a baby

You can get pregnant 3 weeks after the birth of a baby, including if you're breastfeeding and your periods haven't started again.

You need to use contraception every time you have sex after giving birth unless you want to get pregnant again.

Your midwife will discuss contraception with you after your baby is born.

You can talk to your GP, health visitor or sexual health clinic (sometimes called a family planning clinic) about contraception at any time.

Your contraception choices

You can start using some types of contraception immediately after giving birth. For some other types, it’s recommended to wait for a few weeks.

Contraception choices straight after birth

You can start these types of contraception straight after the birth, including if you’re breastfeeding:

• contraceptive implant
• contraceptive injection
• progestogen-only pill
• condoms
• female (internal) condoms
• IUD (coil) or IUS (hormonal coil)

If an IUD or IUS is not fitted within 48 hours of giving birth, it’s recommended to wait until 4 weeks after the birth.

Contraception choices 3 weeks after the birth

If you’re not breastfeeding and a healthcare professional has checked you have no risk factors for a blood clot, you can start to use these methods 3 weeks after the birth:

• combined pill
• vaginal ring
• contraceptive patch

If you’re breastfeeding, you’ll usually be advised to wait until at least 6 weeks after the birth before starting the combined pill, ring or patch.

Contraception choices 6 weeks after birth

You can usually start using a diaphragm or cap around 6 weeks after the birth.

If you used a diaphragm or cap before the birth, see a doctor or nurse at a contraception clinic to make sure it still fits correctly. You may need a new size.

If you’re breastfeeding, you should discuss whether the combined pill, vaginal ring or patch is suitable for you with your nurse or doctor.

Contraception and breastfeeding

You're unlikely to have any periods if you breastfeed exclusively (give your baby breast milk only) and your baby is under 6 months old.

Because of this, some women use breastfeeding as a form of natural contraception. This is known as the lactational amenorrhoea method, or LAM.

Find out about natural family planning, including LAM.

It's important to start using another form of contraception if:

• your baby is more than 6 months old
• you give them anything else apart from breast milk, such as a dummy, formula or solid foods
• your periods start again (even light spotting counts)
• you stop night feeding
• you start to breastfeed less often
• there are longer intervals between feeds, both during the day and at night

The effect of expressing breast milk on LAM isn't known, but it may make it less effective.